As my father passed on from this life on September 6, 2010 after a long painful struggle with cancer, I took pause to reflect upon his life and the remarks I might make at his funeral. While my siblings and I all loved my father, we had few childhood memories that we were able to share with him. For reasons unknown to us, my father regrettably spent very little time interacting with us as children. This is not to say that my father was a bad person in any way – on the contrary, he was a very good person in many ways, but while we (his children) were young, he simply had little interest in involving himself in our daily activities, whatever they happened to be.

Lessons Learned
Because there were few childhood experiences to share that involved my father, I decided to look through a collection of thoughts that I had written throughout the years. As I reviewed my reflections, I realized that I had much more to share about my father than I initially believed. His example taught me a great many things about life. Over 62 of my thoughts were a direct result of his example, and there were many more lessons that I learned from him that I had not taken the time to write down.

In Every Deed an Example
While there is not room here to expound on all 62 of the thoughts that pertained to my father, I have compiled a list of 20 of the most important lessons that I learned from my father. Each of these lessons is an attribute I learned from my father in actions that he did well or those that he did poorly. What I found to be quite rewarding was the fact that in both good and bad, I learned lessons from my father that were and are an important part of who I am and what I believe.

Changing Ways
As years passed by my father became softer in his ways, and although he never said as much to me, I believe he felt some regret at not having spent enough time with his children while they were young. When cancer struck, my father changed in ways that none of us could have predicted. He showed love for his family more than ever before.

It is my hope that these lessons will help others to avoid some of the mistakes that can lead to regrets. As you read through the items in this list, I hope you will consider the value and the true importance of each of these lessons to you and your family.


Lesson 1: Attention
The most important thing you will ever give your children is a little of your time.


Lesson 2: Blame
Never blame what you are on what someone else is.


Lesson 3: Commitment
A family ship will never sink until it is abandoned by its crew.


Lesson 4: Dreams
Every child who believes that a dream can come true, needs a parent to care and believe in it too.

Lesson 5: Excellence
Excellence is built on the knowledge that nothing is ever perfect and that things can always be better. 

Lesson 6: Family
Family time is not a matter of convenience...it is a matter of priority.


Lesson 7: Flexibility
When all roads lead to the same destination, never assume that yours is the only way.


Lesson 8: Fun
If you really want to know your family, meet them in the backyard.


Lesson 9: Love
The whole world is beautiful when love is at home.


Lesson 10: Love
It is difficult to tell your children you love them too much, but it is easy to tell them too little.


Lesson 11: Marriage
Think of marriage as an extension of yourself--a part you'll never sever.


Lesson 12: Memories
No matter how busy you may be, you can always, ALWAYS, give your children 15 minutes of your day for fun.


Lesson 13: Mercy
When correction is imminent, let mercy be the first in command.


Lesson 14: Parenthood
Being there as a parent is more than a matter of proximity.


Lesson 15: Past
Let the past be your compass, but never your anchor.


Lesson 16: Popularity
Never seek popularity that compromises your character.


Lesson 17: Strength
The only strength that really matters is the strength that makes you what you are in the eyes of those you love.


Lesson 18: Support
Teach your children to fight for each other and they will be more forgiving of fights with each other.


Lesson 19: Teaching
Be committed to teaching your children, or someone else will.


Lesson 20: Togetherness
A family is only as strong as its commitment to togetherness.

One Final Lesson
A final and equally important lesson that I learned from my father is that people can change, even when it seems like they never will. My father was a far better person at the end of his life than he was in earlier years. He made an effort to grow closer to his children and to make amends for the distance that existed in his relationships with his family for so long. My father taught me never to stop believing that those you love are capable of changing for the better, no matter how improbable it may seem from early on.

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